Speaking before the parents communicate with their children when the need to pay attention to emotional self- management , not to blame emotional situation out of control children, discipline their children , so bring the opposite effect . Besides being able to manage emotions , the parents should also be able to communicate with a rational way with the children talk .
Rational way of communicating about the specific example : a child during adolescence , parents have a big challenge is to use the computer . Children as long as a computer , he can play , but not disturb the parents . But this is what the parents can really be assured ? This may not be a . The scariest aspect of the computer lies in its access to a broad variety of information, but not all of the information is benign. As is in the development of the boy , curious , and on-line information about sex is easy to obtain . Similarly, for girls, the network may be because the wrong friends, be friends and play deceitful . There are many such examples . However, parents not allow children and computers completely isolated . In today's society, children's learning is inseparable from the network . They find the necessary information through the network , reading, computer functions to complete tasks. Even in more developed countries , operations layout collection, publication of results are conducted on the network . Parents of this age is not the computer , and now the kids can not do without computers . That parents how to know whether the child in the proper use of the computer? This is typical of today's enormous gap between the two generations one . How do parents of children through more interaction and rational communication to understand their children 's maturity in the use of computers is like?
We parents can help children to communicate to him the process of rational analysis . If we parents have to overcome the emotional management of the disorder , children have been able to sit down and talk when the communication began . First of all, parents need to do is to correctly interpret the content of the words the child what the parents if the kids start listening to speaking on the skeptical , the child can feel very hurt that he will be very angry . Suggest that parents start to trust the mind to listen to children about patience , if not agree with the accepted approach first while listen to their child . There are illogical in the children described their parents do not understand or have a place , parents can ask questions , let the children answer , how to help parents interpret their children in the room does.
Each of us parents and children need to talk properly before the prayer , God give us wisdom . Very often, we in the process of communicating with people , only Guzhuo express his own ideas, but very few people to learn to interpret the meaning of words inside . A successful communication , in addition to the speech of people to express clearly , but also has the correct interpretation listener , and when the listener does not understand the willingness to confirmation . Only in this way communication is the rational communication. The aim is to make things clear two-way communication , rather than investigate who is to blame , right or wrong . Of course, this requires practice . Chinese parents are accustomed to one-way, used to teach , with the imperative to urge the children to do something or do something against him . Therefore, parents have to learn to interpret the words of children , and do not understand where in the face of a child is to verify in an objective manner to questions .
When listening to the interpretation of the child , parents are generally aware of the children back to the room opened a computer are done . After interpretation , there is a very important step in communication is the depth of the parents can not really listen . The parents hear the child during this time is not a real homework to do , or fun but useless to serious computer to do homework . Even a child can hear a bit difficult in classes , so they play on the computer and the homework first place in the side . These parents are from the children feel in words . Sometimes children experience difficulties in doing homework , it will divert attention shifted to the network as easily those interesting things . We also encounter difficulties adults will be frustrated , and sometimes the problems at hand will come down before turning their attention , and sometimes not enough time , took a hasty end problems . However, sometimes their own children are not aware they have such problems, he encountered difficulties because of the natural escape , the network has exactly the things that interested him , so he immersed them . Child's sense of maturity, but parents should communicate, through the child's description , use the wisdom of adults , to discover with the spiritual to see the behavior of children in front of the computer which requires parents to help him , to remind Him.
Some children are very smart , he can quickly complete the homework each day , leaving most of the time doing his favorite thing. Like this child, but he may have forgotten the time , not to say that his grades were not good to do, so parents sometimes feel that their kids because the fun computer and neglected their studies. Sometimes bright children needed more challenge , a simple lesson for him is not difficult . Children can not simply look at the computer may challenge the right to find the source , he needs to teachers, parents give him proper guidance, such as to give him the right item . Parents to help him find a time management problems , or need more interesting challenges.
Therefore, the depth of focus parents listen to all aspects of the child 's heart mind and so the children have a more accurate understanding. Lingyun Mu teacher I remember one time , his wife and second son, second son to get a girlfriend because of the problems , tensions between two people . Lingyun Mu went out for dinner with their children on the division , two people talked a lot about football matches and other things . In a harmonious atmosphere, Lingyun Mu division to pull back the theme , recently asked the children how the tension between mother and asked who he was and what is the relationship between the girls . Child is to tell Lingyun Mu division , said that because of his homework time pressure , the mother , then great, it led him to a little emotional . Lingyun Mu teacher was kind enough to chat a lot of children , including the fact that he and the girl, no relations . Lingyun Mu division also to parents concerned about his expectations and so modest to tell a child. After Lingyun Mu division has found a great change. Therefore, the depth is very important to listen .
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